The mission: I can’t make up my mind where to go, and can only pick one. Dates are not flexible. One or two night stay at either place. My friend Heather is en-route, backpacking through Canada as I speak write, waiting for me to decide if I’ll meet her in Chicago or Washington DC.

Chicago. DC. Chicago. DC.

The benefit to Chicago is that I was there a few weeks ago, and there was such chaos walking down Michigan Avenue that I mentally composed a letter to the mayor explaining Chicago would be more favoured by me and other organisational freaks if there was clearly defined “this side” usage of the footpath, and the mayor should be thankful for me sparing him photos of my thighs with scrapes and slashes caused by people with Antarctica-sized shopping bags… (I mean, seriously, aren’t they having the Olympics or something? This is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.)

I also sort of know how to get around Chicago, and the show, Wicked, is closing in January and I desperately want to see it again, because last time my seats were four rows from the back and I would like to see the actors’ faces without having to wield my bird-watching binoculars in the Ford Theatre.

The benefit to DC is… err… DC Chick is there and we could have Naked Twister Fan Club 2008. Oh, but apparently there’s also a lot of American history (’really?’ you say in your best mocking tone, ‘I never would have expected that from a place known as the nation’s flipping capitol’) and they have SEGWAY TOURS (!!!) and nothing excites me more than rolling around and doing touristy things without having to… like… walk. Jay told me that his brother’s neighbour’s boss went to DC for a conference and evening news was more like the evening update on how many murders had occurred in the city.

Help me. What would you do?

PS. Chicago also has Segway Tours, but I may be stuck with a bunch of Aussies taking over an Irish pub, and drunken Segwaying is prohibited.